New Territory...New Surroundings...Same Faithfulness

I made the big move to the west coast about a month and a half ago--- scary, first time on my own, jumping into a full time ministry position, having no idea what the heck I'm doing, going somewhere where I know no one, AND I'm still single?!?!--- my brain was flooded with such thoughts daily leading up to my arrival. ( and if we are being 100% honest, these thoughts continue to fill my mind)

In recent days I became more and more overwhelmed with the growing task list that seemed to only be expanding and never getting smaller. It came to a few evenings sitting in my "thinking chair" balling my eyes out asking the questions of "Why God?!?!?! Why did you send me to do such an impossible task?!?!? I don't have a clue where to begin!!! I'm just not cut out for this!!!"--- have you ever felt this way about new territories?? Well then you know where I'm coming from! It seemed unfair and impossible.....

isn't it funny that in those two words we can define all that God is?

unfair?? yes... He is- but thank God it is for our benefit!! Fairness would lead to us having to pay the price for our sins. Fairness leaves no room for grace and mercy because we simply don't desire it- we are straight up sinners with no way out.....thats when our "unfair" God stepped in and sent his Son to pay the pricetag that was impossible for us to cover! So unfair? Really?? yeah-- He is! and I'm so grateful that He is!!

impossible?? yeah- I'd say that is a great description of what my God is- He holds the power of the whole world in His hands. He can turn water into wine, raise the dead to life, and cause deaf ears to hear sweet melodies... and thats just the beginning really. Impossible-- yeah, He totally is!!!

So while I was sitting in the midst of my pity parties God came in with crazy peace and reminded me of just who he is! I am still in the learning process of what all that means-- I think its part of that great mystery of chasing after the heart of God that makes it oh so sweet and exciting--- I wouldn't have it any other way!

Learning to trust his faithfulness---- Seeing Him as more than enough----- and this is just the beginning......

Lessons Learned in Silence

Tears streaming down my face. Seeking healing for purposes that seemed to be noble to further the kingdom. I was not seeking a healing for selfish gain...or was I?

My voice had been stripped of me like never before. I would try with all that was within me to let out even a peep and absolutely fail. All day I prayed and prayed that my voice would return in order to be prepared for the great church service coming that night. My deepest desire was to be able to sing and shout during worship then be able to pray for teens as they flooded the altar that night seeking a touch from God. My desire was to minister in a way that I felt as though God had gifted me...but with my current lack of vocal ability this was becoming more of a difficulty than I ever imagined...

As frustration built up near the conclusion of the service I reached a point of complete and utter defeat! “God- this stinks, why couldn’t you just heal me and allow me to be a part of this altar call?!?!” I am so glad that I have a heavenly father who does not get angered by my frustration, but rather seeks to show me His perfect will in love and patience.

It was at that point of me wanting to give up that God revealed to me that he did not necessarily want me to participate in this particular altar time, but rather he would desire to teach me a lesson in humility through my current state of silence that must be learned in order to so see all that He has in store for me.

It took being at a point of absolute silence...literally...not being able to utter a sound....that I was able to learn the tough lesson that it simply is not about me. That God will have his way whether I am a part of it or not. I love to be a part of what He is doing, but I never want to become so arrogant that rather than being a part I consider myself to be elite in some way.

I believe the silence came at the perfect time to teach me to rely on the most high God who is able to use anyone or anything that is willing to step aside and give him the glory He is due. The moment that vessel begins to think more of themselves than they should he will reveal just how powerful he really is. I once again see the power of Almighty God. Who am I that I thought that I was more than a simple servant of God Almighty?!?!

He must INCREASE and I must DECREASE!

The Neverending Story

The neverending story.... the adventures of a young boy named Sebastian who was somewhat of a misfit. His imagination had been smashed down the road of hard knocks that had become this boys life. One day while trying to escape some bullies from school he scurries into a book store where encounters a book that will open his life to more adventure than he ever knew was possible. This book was like no other book he had ever read. In this book as he read the the story was unfolding in a far far away land where the wildest things could be dreamt up and happen as he read.

As a child this was one of my all time favorite movies. Watching it more recently I found it to be intriguing on a whole new level. As a child I loved the idea of a story that is being written at the speed of my imagination. Anything goes. Nothing is too far fetched or ridiculous...no rules, boundaries or limitations simply a whole other universe of possibilities. This explains why my favorite stories are those of Cinderella proportions...nothing is impossible. Thank God I get to be on this wild ride we call life where I serve a God who dreams bigger dreams for me than my brain can even hold, so when I ask him to work in my impossible situation, he never says thats too big but rather he asks why I am thinking so small! I am crazy in love with my dream-giving God and his limitless power!

Near the end of the movie all havoc breaks loose when this land is slowly but surely diminishing because of lack of imagination in children. Sebastian becomes skeptical of the power of this story and as he does so the blackness of a mindless generation is creeping in and gaining strength. Now, this movie came out somewhere in the early 80’s when kids still knew how to use their imaginations, and played with creativity. This generation that is being raised up has even less opportunity to imagine now that the most popular toys and games are those that have story lines already fixed and require more skill than imagination...but this is a different rant for a different time....

As I ponder the blackness taking over this imagination driven land I think of this journey you and I are on... a journey to discover life purpose and what we are on this planet for anyway. I have found my identity in Christ, I know I was placed on this planet for something and I have committed my life to God to unwrap this purpose a little more each day. By far the most exciting journey one could ever be on!! But as I look around at my generation I wonder how many are still looking for purpose? How many have lost touch with God-sized dreams? how many are floating toward the black abyss of living a status quo life?

Imagination was dying.....vision is dying.... in Proverbs it says, “where there is not vision the people perish”. In this fictional tale that was sending a loud message for creative imagination, the blackness symbolizes the lack of original thought and being lulled to sleep without using one’s imagination. In these current days the church is being lulled to sleep with the status quo. Things have always been done this way...they have worked this far.....”why fix it if it ain’t broke?” This mindset has paralyzed creativity slowly to the point that we no longer know where to begin when breaking out of the box. We serve a God of creative thinking! Let us be awakened to the call, and the desire to see God use us as his vessels at any capacity he would so desire!

It is time to WAKE UP!!! No longer am I satisfied with the blackness putting a fog over my mind of the creativity that God would desire us to minister in and through. Seems a bit crazy huh? Not quite knowing what the next step might be? No 10 year plan to speak of? But, who cares! This life is not my own anyway, I have surrendered fully to a cause that is so much greater than I am. A cause that leaves me longing for the heart of God for mankind. His heart is that none would perish but all would have eternal life. It is my responsibility to spread the good news. Now, how I go about doing this...possibilities ENDLESS!!! No limits! Lets punch the blackness in the face and see the land of imagination flourish once again!!

Don't Run With Scissors

“Don’t run with those scissors in your hand!”, a mom cautiously tells her 4 year old. “But why?” the little girl asks, and just as the words left her little mouth she trips and slices her hand open. Immediately the tears began to pour from those little brown eyes and a shriek of terror bursts forth. Lesson learned....the hard way, but nonetheless she has discovered the purpose for the rule of no running with scissors.It seemed like a fun idea before, now....not so much.
Now at this point the mother had a choice to make, 1) she could scold the child because she had clearly told her not to do this or 2) she could rush to the side of the now crying child and comfort her in her pain. Now only the most heartless of mothers would really scold a bleeding child because they has warned them of the outcome of their actions once before. There is a different level of compassion the mother has for her child. The only reason she told her not to run with the scissors was for her own good. When the mother sees her child hurt and crying it hurts her heart too, so if there was any way to steer the child in the direction of avoiding pain she would do everything in her power to do so.
I see this very common scene as an exact parallel as to how God cares for his children so so much, and that is the reason he sets guidelines and barriers to keep us out of harm’s way. Often we look at these rules as nothing more than a killjoy, keeping us from having the time of our lives. This is simply not the case. That whole ten commandments thing is neither a suggestion or simply a way of keeping Christians the most boring people on the planet. Those are set in place to keep us from cutting ourselves on the sharpness of sin.
The little girl in the story could not understand why her mother told her not to run with the scissors until she was faced with the consequence of her actions. So many times I find myself at that same point with Daddy-God. He told me to beware of putting myself in compromising situations, but I for one reason or another needed to test the waters for myself. I ran with the scissors, and found the consequences to be less than comfortable. I run to his arms yet again, broken-hearted, bleeding, in pain, needing comfort. He never denies me these, and never offers a response of “ I told you so..”, He simply reaches down as the loving father he is and offers comfort and peace.
After the mother gets done bandaging the wound on her little girl’s hand she asks her the question, “now, do you know why I told you not to run with scissors?”. The little girl responds between her sniffles, “yes....” Now, the mother was not doing this in a manor that says “I told you so..” but rather, she is making sure her little girl learned her lesson so that she will not get hurt in the same way again.
Often when we walk through the hurts and pains in life, that we get ourselves into, God does not deliver us from the aftermath of our poor decisions. He uses the hurts as a teaching point to see if we have successfully learned our lesson to avoid such blunders in the future. We need not view these teaching points as his wrath, but rather see them as His true love for us in trying to steer us in the right direction. God cares for his children, and hates to see them in pain. But if its a simple lesson that must be learned He is more than willing to guide us through learning the tough lessons in life.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to learn the lessons I needed to in order to steer clear the next time. It was not fun, but I am stronger because of it now!

Sacreligious... or just Anti-Religion...either way....

"Sunday Mornin' wake up early,
skip church service to find my Jesus.
I know it sounds so sacreligious,
but I just don't belong in a place like that.
I love the cause but NOT the ACT.
'cause Jesus was a friend and not a judge.
He loved the sinners as much as he loved the little ones.
the man was love and not an act.
I sing Hallelujah;
Hallelujah, I'm set free.
Sunday mornin' wake up early,
skip church service to find true meaning.
I know it sounds so disappointing,
but I just don't belong in a place like that.
I love the cause but NOT the ACT.
I sing Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah;
Hallelujah, I'm set free."

These are the lyrics from a secular artist, Never Shout Never. I had never heard of this guy until I volunteered at the concessions at a show he played a few months ago. Before he played this song he described the typical teenager who had been burned by the church at one point or another and decided to put on the attitude of "just screw it, I dont need this junk anyway". This young man is reaching many with his music, they idolize him for his ability to entertain on a stage, and connect with him as he has empathy for the outcasts because he too was once considered one. Now, the first time I heard this song, I was a mix between totally agreeing with him and being slightly offended. As a training pastor, I should be able to say, "No way, the church is the most accepting and loving place on the planet!" but I would only be fooling myself to try to believe something that is so false. The part of me that wanted to agree with the radical statements being sung, was the side that is fed up with religious people. The ones who judge people on outward appearance, thinking they are better, looking down on sinners forgetting that whole love thing. That makes me sick from the inside out. Who are we to judge? As Jesus said when referring to the woman caught in the act of adultry, "He who has no sin may cast the first stone..." meaning, "hey- if you really think you are 100% sin free, then feel free to judge away...but if not...HOW DARE YOU!!!" loosely translated that is :) anyhow...back to my point...religious people, haven't we all been there at one point or another? Not saying that in anyway it is acceptable, but that it definitely is a mindset that is easy to fall into. Just think, Pharisees didn't set out on a mission to be so religious that even the son of God was disgusted by them, did they? I'd have to say that probably wasn't their original plan fresh out of seminary. Just sayin.
But whether it was the intent or not, starting with Pharisees and trickeling down the line church people have become quite religious and judgemental when we were simple called to love sinners and leave the judging up to God....afterall He really is the ONLY perfect judge, we are nothing but dirty old sinners anyway.
Religious people wear their good deeds on their sleeves, they dont really care for the sinner,they would actually prefer a church of 'good people' like themselves, they bring people to church just because it is what is right, they dont feel bad about casting their judgements on all those around them, the are simply into the religion of it all...rules and regulations, not so much a relationship.
Christ followers should be just that, little Jesus'... we need to capture the character of Christ. Friend to sinners. Now, he didnt live a reckless life just to fit in with all his sinner friends, but on the same hand he didn't judge them with the same measuring stick as those who have made the commitment to live a life for Christ above reproach. Finding the balance is key, to be a person of influence in a world that so hates the church. We need to show people the love of God, and allow him to do the life transformation, because...really, he is the ONLY one who can.
These are just some thoughts that have been stirring in my heart for some time now.
be commissioned to hate sin, but LOVE LOVE LOVE the sinner
cause it wasn't that long ago when you were in their shoes needing to be introdued to a life transforming Savior... love.....